The date and time it is minus December 29th, 1991 at approximately seven o'clock in the morning equals my age.
I have a wonderful boyfriend named Jeff who is my everything.
I have an obsession with Marilyn Manson, Motionless in White, astronomy, science in general, and Stephen Hawking.
I am a physics major, astronomy minor, and I play the piano.
I love heavy metal.
I'll beat you in chess.
My personality type is INTJ.
I'm a vegan and I don't have a religion.
I am very misanthropic.
I am anorexic.
I'm straight edge. (Which means I don't do drugs or consume alcohol.)
I would waste time telling you about who I am, yet I'd rather you find out by yourself.
My left rib pokes out and is uneven with my right side of my rib cage, I have a large masculine jaw, a “crimson chin”, a large long nose, ears that are pointy and stick out like elf ears, and I have an emaciated body, and I love everything about it. I think I’m beautiful and looking in the mirror makes me feel thrilled 99.9% of the time.
I wish others had the ability to see the “flaws” of their bodies as strengths and areas of “perfection” like I do. Once you stop listening to what others have to say/think and say “fuck it” and focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be, you truly see the beauty in who you really are.
Moreover, I’m sick of people gender-categorizing themselves. Like a real woman has to be this. A real man has to be that. Fuck that. A real HUMAN has to be themselves and who they feel they should be. All of us have “masculine” and “feminine” aspects of ourselves. Our reproductive organs don’t have the ability to determine what our personalities and actions should be like.
Awesome. Really fucking awesome. I love working so hard to accomplish a goal that I’ve wanted to accomplish since I was approximately 9 or 10 just to have people tell me that it’s wrong, selfish, egotistical, unhealthy, and vain, and then bitch to me about how I’m killing myself. Meanwhile, I have other people telling me how beautiful and skinny I am and how they envy my body, willpower, and determination. This makes me question what side of the coin is correct. Most of the times, I think the second side is and that the first side is just jealous that they don’t fit into the “club” of the very few in this country who can control what they put into their fucking mouths and who can control every aspect of their own bodies. Not on topic, but I’m getting fucking sick of people who vent to me about their self esteem issues and expect me to give them emotional support instead of brutal honesty. I used to have terrible self esteem. Know what didn’t help me? People who tried to stupidly comfort me by saying “You’re perfect the way you are.” Know what did help me? Fucking facing the reality of the situation and fixing the problem! Just like anything in life, to achieve high self esteem, you need to work hard at it! Stop being so fucking lazy and weak people! Moreover, I’m getting sick of the people who say to me “If you think you’re fat, you must think I’m huge!” Well, for one, I don’t think I’m fat. I just feel I always have room for improvement and to lose a bit of weight. For two, I think anyone who has a bmi of over approximately 17 is fat. I find answering that implied question is a huge waste of my fucking time because you should already know the answer and I don’t feel like lying to you and saying “No. You look fine.” when I don’t actually think that. Anyways, this has been a morning venting session. That’s all I have to say. Bye.
And if people think I’m being a bitch for being brutally honest about how I feel, then I guess so be it. At least I’m not being fake.
A lot of people think someone who is underweight and a vegan, such as myself, are starving and dying, yet I’m actually swimming in nutrition because the foods I do eat are rich in valuable nutrients. However, a healthy weighted or overweighted person who lives on fast food, processed foods, and an animal product based diet is, literally, starving themselves to death and allowing their only one body to swim in a pool of fatty toxic garbage. So, it’s pretty much like starving and drowning at the same time. I know. What a wonderful combination.
Seriously, I don’t even know what your fucking meal tastes like. It has been years upon years. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. If anything I pity you. Do you know how amazing it feels to be this skinny and to not suffer with the health consequences of an animal product based diet? Yeah, that’s right. I thought not. My size 0 pants and I don’t give a fuck about how your greasy, fatty, cruelty filled meal tastes like and neither does my size small shirts.
So when people tell me that I’d still be skinny if I gained 5 to 15 pounds, I get frustrated. Yeah, okay. I was once 5 to 15 pounds heavier, and I didn’t think I was fucking skinny at all. What makes you think that I’d want to go back to where I was? Does that make sense? No. Also, I’m sick of people telling me that I’d be happier if I put on weight. I was more miserable when I was, in my opinion, fat, than I am now. Moreover, I’m sick of people saying to me “If you think you’re/ you were fat, you must think I’m huge.” Well, not to be too brutally honest, but use your rationality. If I think I’m/ I was fat, chances are, I think you’re fat as well. Sorry to break it to you, yet that’s just the truth. In addition, I am sick and tired of people telling me that curves are beautiful or a good thing. No, they’re not. If you need a fucking body acceptance movement just to make curvy women feel good about themselves, chances are, deep down, they hate being curvy. I’m not sorry that I actually am in the minority of women that are skinny and can fit into size 0 to 2 clothing without sucking in my stomach or fat, and that I have the measurements of a runway model. I’m not giving that up to be a part of the insecure majority. For the record, I am not insecure about my body. I’m just a hardcore perfectionist, and I don’t accept being just average or normal with regards to anything. Including my body and weight. Finally, I don’t give a fuck if guys like curves or something they can grab onto. I’m not in a rush to find someone, considering I’m more goal oriented, and so if a guy truly wants to be with me, they’ll have to accept me for the size I am. I’m not gaining a chubby disgusting ass, huge thighs, and fat, saggy, breasts for anyone. Sorry.
However, when I was in college down in Tampa, I lost my period for about 3 to 4 months at a weight of 108 to 109 pounds. I’d complain about being a low weight and still getting my period, yet that would be ridiculous. At least I’m healthy enough to menstruate. I blame it on my close to raw, nutrient dense, vegan diet. It allows me to eat, get all of my nutrients, and maintain a low weight. Thank you, veganism!