If you have to alter your physical appearance in order to express your individuality, you must not be much of an individual.

I am not an “anorexic”, nor am I some “insecure anorexic bitch”. I have anorexia, yes, and it’s a chronic mental illness that I will have for my entire life, but my life doesn’t revolve around this illness just as my life doesn’t revolve around the fact that I have a chronic pain syndrome called Fibromyalgia. I have found ways in order to make the symptoms of both conditions not so prevalent, and I have found beneficial ways to live around both illnesses. However, my aspirations, goals, successes, opinions, my character, and my intelligence define who I am as a person. Unlike the common stereotype of a “typical” anorexic, I am not a sensitive person who is desperate to please people. I tend to be very cold-hearted (although, I have a soft spot for my family, Linus, about 3 friends of mine, and animals), very rebellious, on the edge of being arrogant, and I don’t spend the majority of my time looking at thinspo or reading through comments of jealous girls desperate to lose weight to look more like an air-head celebrity since, quite frankly, it bores me to tears. The reason why I am anorexic is my business only, and I will only discuss it with those who I feel close to, which aren’t many. If you’re following me because you want me to inspire you to lose weight due to the fact that I am skinny and ACTUALLY have anorexia, I guess I’m going to disappoint you. I am more pro-intelligence than pro-anorexia. I’d rather people think for themselves and do what they want with their bodies and try to look like the people that they are, rather than some celebrity or online persona. 

Stephen Hawking motivates me to keep my eye on science and to keep pushing, despite the obstacles I may face, forward with my life that I have officially dedicated to science. Astrophysics in particular. Also, he motivates me to embrace my intelligence. Moreover, he never fails to leave me mind-blown with his remarkable genius.

Marilyn Manson motivates me to embrace my apparent individuality, to question everything, to not let social norms dictate my thought process and actions, to lift my head high and to be confident, to walk tall and proud, to embrace my sexuality, to be the rebel that I am, to fight for the truth, to not be weak, and to be the person that I want to be. His “I don’t give a fuck” attitude rubbed off on me at a very fragile and young age, as well.

Thank you, Stephen Hawking and Marilyn Manson, for all of the influence. You both don’t know how much you mean to me or how much you both impacted my life for the better.