A lot of people think someone who is underweight and a vegan, such as myself, are starving and dying, yet I’m actually swimming in nutrition because the foods I do eat are rich in valuable nutrients. However, a healthy weighted or overweighted person who lives on fast food, processed foods, and an animal product based diet is, literally, starving themselves to death and allowing their only one body to swim in a pool of fatty toxic garbage. So, it’s pretty much like starving and drowning at the same time. I know. What a wonderful combination.

Tanner and healthier looking version of Jamie.

The winter hates me.

I don’t like curves and the healthy female body. It looks disgusting to me, which is why I enjoy looking at skinnier women. Looking at curvy women actually triggers me into wanting to lose weight, but the thing is, I have self control and can differentiate between my eating disordered mind and my rational mind. I know, rationally, that just because I see a curvy woman, or a girl who is healthy, that doesn’t mean that I, over night, will become like that.

Everyone has a different perspective about what is beautiful. Curves on the female body isn’t mine, and I am not sorry about it.

I am at a low weight of 106.5 pounds to 107.0 pounds at my height of 5’7”, which is the lowest weight I can be at without severely putting my health or my life at risk.

Right now, I can honestly say that I think I look perfect, and I think I look beautiful. I eat healthily (small portions, but healthy vegan foods), I am on my way to getting my PhD, I have an amazing boyfriend, and I am, for the most part, happy with my life.

I found a way to satisfy both my anorexia and my desire to live a fulfilling life as an intellectual.

Everyone is different. Just because my lifestyle works for me, doesn’t mean it will work for you.

I’m 5’7” and right now, I weigh 107.0 pounds and I have abs…. yeah… peanut butter makes you fat… suuuureeee. ;-) 

Eating dairy, meat, eggs, and processed chemicals makes you fat. Eating natural plant based body that is easily recognizable to the human body, is easy to digest, and has easily absorbable nutrients leaves you skinny and healthy. 

This is what a vegan flat stomach looks like. Abs are made mostly in the kitchen.

Maybe it’s because I actually suffer with the illness that I get very angry when I see people glamorizing and supporting something that almost killed me on multiple occasions and prevents me from living a healthy and happy life. I think the reason that glamorizing anorexia is socially acceptable is because people underestimate the seriousness of this disease, they find it to be laughable, they lack intelligence, and parents don’t raise their children well enough. 

Also, I DON’T EVEN FUCKING WANT TO BE ANOREXIC!! I had this since I was about 10 years old, I am now approximately 21, and never in my life did I wake up and say “Hmm… You know what would be fucking wonderful, Jamie? Being anorexic. Yeah, I think I’m going to do that.” No. I always was very obsessional about health and being healthy. I think my anorexia was caused by genetics or something along those lines. A person who truly suffers with anorexia never even plans or wants to be anorexic. It just happens. The whole “wannabe anorexic” trend is beyond moronic and juvenile.

If you have a username such as anorexiaprincess, analover, ana4ever, or anything ridiculously childish, and fucking idiotic such as that, do me a favor, and don’t follow me. I don’t want anything to do with you.

Sincerely,

Jamie

You know, there is such thing as putting the fork down… or getting a healthy piece of fruit… just saying.

It’s not because I’m poor, but it’s because I think it’s a waste of time and money to go buy them if I have access to clothing that fits me already. Also, I think this consumerist culture that we have today is disgusting. You’re not valuable, according to the superficial masses who lack functioning neurons in their brains, if you don’t own the latest trends, styles, technology, etc. I find it funny how the majority of these people complain that they can’t afford healthy food, can’t spend 20 minutes exercising, and can’t pay their bills, yet they seem to find the time to drive 20 minutes to a super mall, spend hundreds of dollars getting worthless garbage they don’t need, and spend money on the gas to get there and back. Whenever someone such as myself points this out to people, they get offended and cry and tell me to shut up or “You don’t understand.”… I understand perfectly! You’re shallow, can’t control your impulses, lazy, superficial, sheep like, and stupid! I’d say sorry for telling you the truth, yet telling the truth shouldn’t be something one should apologize for.

My meal plan for tomorrow looks like this:

Breakfast

• 1 cup of orange juice
• 1 cup of tea
• A serving of oatmeal w/ raw organic maple syrup

Snack

• Blueberries
• An apple
• Water

Lunch

• Banana with organic natural peanut butter
• A cup of orange juice

Snack

• A peach
• Some almonds
• Water

Dinner

• Veggie salad with natural organic raspberry dressing
• A cup of cherry juice

Tasty… I know.

Yeah.. the flavors might be natural, but the chemicals that were combined to produce those flavors are not.

I weigh less now than ever, and one of my tricks is that I simply don’t restrict my calories AT ALL, I don’t count them, and I eat and drink when I am thirsty and hungry. I am 5’7” and I weighed 106.8 pounds this morning, and I’ve been that weight, around, every morning for the past few months. I was actually gaining weight when I was restricting calories due to the fact that my body was in starvation mode and was panicking and retaining every little bit of the food that I did eat, as well as with fluids also. If you want to get to a low weight and stay there while not being hungry, I advise you to stop childishly restricting your calories, and instead, eat intelligently. I’m a vegan who eats easily digestible foods such as peanut butter, whole grains, fruits, veggies, a lot of fruit juices, almonds, whole wheat organic pastas, bean mixtures, and salads. I also spoil myself and pick at organic vegan chips.  Since the food I eat is all natural, and easily recognizable to my body, my body can more easily digest it, and burn it off quickly. Due to my body burning the food I eat more rapidly, I have to eat more frequently in order to just KEEP UP my weight. So, not only do I not restrict myself anymore, but I have to eat a lot in order to keep my weight up to at least 107. The reason why you calorie counters gain weight like crazy when you go back to “recovery” and resume eating normally is because you’re treating your body like you’re in Africa and expecting it to digest food normally afterwards. We have to remember that we are animals, and what other animal restricts their food intake? It’s not the calories in the food, it’s the type of food, that keeps you skinny. Moreover, I have a flat stomach and abs, tight toned legs with a thigh gap, nice long lean arms, and a very small ass, and I only work out, at the most, three times a week. If you want the body “of your dreams”, it starts in the kitchen, and it starts by treating your body as a part of nature, rather than a hateful object. The rules I go by are that if I am thirsty, I get a bit to drink, or drink until I’m not thirsty, same goes for hunger, I eat foods that are closest to nature such as fruits, veggies, nuts, and grains, I make sure to exercise when I feel my body getting tense, or my mind getting cluttered and grouchy, I go to sleep when the sun sets, and I wake when the sun rises, I don’t let the opinions, problems, or thoughts of others interfere with my goals or aspirations, and I make sure to work out my mind everyday. Intense thinking DOES burn calories. Your brain needs fuel to work properly, and the more you starve yourself, the more your brain shrinks, and the less productive of a person you become. I understand the addiction to counting calories. I am anorexic and have an addiction to weighing myself very frequently throughout the day, but counting calories isn’t going to help you in the long run. If anyone needs help getting off calorie counting, I’m always available.  

I have been maintaining a weight at about 106.8 to 107.4 pounds at my height of 5’7” for the last few months, and I have been maintaining a weight at around 107 to 110 pounds for the last 2 years. A couple of my vegan friends laughed at the fact that I am a vegan with anorexia. They told me that with a vegan diet that is more focused on raw foods, I’d easily maintain the weight that I was at, and want to remain at, without counting calories, restricting, or feeling hungry. Also, my romantic interest, Linus, convinced me finally to stop counting calories. For the past few months, I haven’t counted calories nor did I (or do I) even focus on how much food I am eating. I haven’t been hungry, and I have been maintaining my very low, yet surprisingly healthy, weight. Each day, I probably consume about half of a jar of peanut butter, since I love it so much, some organic whole wheat spaghetti, salads, a ton of juice, oatmeal, whole grain toast, fruit, berries, organic vegan chips, etc. I haven’t been putting weight on at all, and I have been feeling happier, and more relaxed. Also, I have been actually loving my body, what I look like, and I have been feeling extremely confident as well. Additionally, I changed my sleeping schedule to a healthier one. I go to sleep now when the sun sets, at about 10pm, and wake up at around 6am to 7am. This is now natural for me. I’ve been getting up, and feeling more alive and more at peace with myself. Moreover, exercising more frequently has helped, and I’ve been making sure to allow myself more time in the sun. I don’t consider myself to be that anorexic anymore. The only anorexic tendencies that I still have are my obsessive multiple daily weigh-ins, as well as my inability to eat with others, due to my strange ways of eating. Other than those two things, I’m pretty happy, and I’m feeling more at ease. The changed that I’ve made weren’t that hard, since I’ve made them gradually, and I continue to make positive changes for myself today. I may not ever be cured of my anorexia, considering it’s a chronic illness, but I have learned how to make the symptoms tolerable, and not as dramatic. The “triggers” are just like a little poke in my finger now. I know how to calm down and handle them, which is a skill Linus taught me. Anyways, just felt like letting out some positive venting, if that makes sense.