The date and time it is minus December 29th, 1991 at approximately seven o'clock in the morning equals my age.
I have a wonderful boyfriend named Jeff who is my everything.
I have an obsession with Marilyn Manson, Motionless in White, astronomy, science in general, and Stephen Hawking.
I am a physics major, astronomy minor, and I play the piano.
I love heavy metal.
I'll beat you in chess.
My personality type is INTJ.
I'm a vegan and I don't have a religion.
I am very misanthropic.
I am anorexic.
I'm straight edge. (Which means I don't do drugs or consume alcohol.)
I would waste time telling you about who I am, yet I'd rather you find out by yourself.
Pro ana = Whinny girls (and some boys) between the sophomoric ages of approximately 13 to 17 who bitch about how every thin girl (even if she is healthy or naturally thin) is anorexic and is desperate for attention. Many “pro ana”s will say ridiculous things such as “OMG I only ate a salad for dinner! I’m so anorexic!” or “Yeah, I skipped lunch one day. I totally have an eating disorder!”. These girls need mental help for wanting to get attention in such a negative way and glamorizing a very deadly mental condition that can kill and severely damage a person who actually has it. “Pro ana”s typically don’t understand even the cause of anorexia, which is unknown, and blame it on the media, which in most cases, isn’t the cause.
Being anorexic= A person who truly suffers with anorexia can be of any age, race, and sex (although, most cases effect females), and feels traumatic mental pain everyday. An anorexic person will use food as a coping mechanism to feel like he or she has control in his or her life. The cause of anorexia is unknown, but it has been said to be genetic. A healthy woman can diet, stop, and resume with her life. An anorexic will diet, not be able to stop, and can eventually end her life. Most anorexics will go through great lengths in order to have their illness be unknown, and many wish they didn’t have it. Unfortunately, these people who do actually have the illness and need help aren’t taken that seriously due to stupid teenage girls who glamorize the illness, making having this illness look severely less serious.
Which means that it’s an illness that never goes away… unfortunately, yet I am making the choice to fight on, and to live my life the best that I can.
Also, I’m not going to let my illness get in the way of me getting my PhD in the future. That dream and goal has kept me alive for the past 5 years, and I’m not letting go of it until I finally make it a reality.
Sadly, I will always be mentally sick, which disturbs me when I deeply think about it, but I am making the choice of not letting that fact completely destroy me.
To those of you who actually suffer from a mental illness,
I am here for you. I understand you. I want you to know that your illness does not define your self worth and your value as a human being. It isn’t your fault. Being mentally ill does not mean that your life will be less successful. It just means that you might have to fight a little (or a lot) harder in order to achieve your goals, which makes achieving them more rewarding.
Keep strong, and find a reason to push on.
(Future) Dr. Jamie
Stop… just stop… You’re literally offending and metaphorically slapping those of us who actually really suffer with this illness in the face. If you saw the reality of the illness, you would be horribly shocked. Moreover, I am kind of getting sick of girls saying how “anorexic” they are just because they skipped breakfast once, ate a salad for dinner, etc. No, you’re not anorexic. You’re ridiculously ignorant, and I recommend going to therapy because there has to be something disturbingly wrong with you for trying to get attention this way. Furthermore, I am getting tired of seeing people call thin, yet healthy, women anorexic, like it’s a complement. Anorexia, an illness that costs me hundreds of dollars worth of therapy and doctor bills, 10 years of my 20 year old life, my happiness, almost ended my life unknowingly, etc., is not something to be fucking proud of, isn’t a compliment, or something to aspire to have. Right when you start to wish you had this illness is the moment when you should go seek help right away. When I was 10 years old, I wanted to be very skinny and highly intelligent. I was silent about my desire to be skinny, yet many of my schoolmates noticed something was wrong about me, yet I kept it to myself until I almost killed myself and had to withdraw from college at the age of 19. I didn’t get help until I was 19. Nine years after the problem STARTED. I almost DIED. I was told I had 6 MONTHS TO LIVE. Do you really want that?
I’m for whatever the fuck someone wants to do with their own bodies. I don’t recommend being anorexic, or promoting this mental illness, because I got it involuntarily at a young age and it has made my life a lot harder, as well as almost killing me in a few instances, however, I believe a person has a right to do whatever they want with their body as long as they’re not physically harming another living being. If you really wish to be anorexic (which I don’t know if that’s possible or not, since I really don’t think or know if one can wish a mental illness upon themselves) go for it. All I can do is tell you my experiences with anorexia, and how it makes me think, feel, and function, but it’s up to you to decide if you want that for yourself or not. I just want to point out that this disease is just that. A disease. The media, society, and other unintelligible sources made this disease a fashion statement. If you want this disease because of the media, and society, I might check with a psychologist to check your mental security and stability, as well as your intelligence level, before proceeding to starve yourself. Also, I’d say goodbye to everything else you enjoyed in life before you carry on with your eating disorder. If you’re close to your parents, or friends, you’re going to be too hungry and irritable to carry on these close relationships. If you enjoy athletics, hiking, etc., you’re going to be too mentally and physically exhausted to participate in those activities. If you have a dog or cat, say bye to them, because you’re going to be too tired to play with them as well. If you enjoy reading, writing, etc., you won’t be as good at them anymore since you’re not going to be able to get your mind off of food and how much you crave it, yet can’t have it, or else “ana” will torture you for days. The only plus side I see of this illness is, yes, it does work and you do lose a hell of a lot of weight, and, I’m sorry to admit this, but it did make me look a hell of a lot better, and now I fit into a size 0 or 1, but the negative aspects outweigh (haha “outweigh”) the positives. If you want to be anorexic, fine. I’m not going to stop you, but please consider the negatives before you go after the one positive.
I have this disease, and I’ve had it since I was about 9 or 10. I’m now 20 years old. 10 to 11 years later, and I’m still in this prison involuntarily. If you wish to be in this mental hell like I am, I recommend you say goodbye to everyone and everything that you love, because you’re not going to be enjoying them for very long. I haven’t been legitimately happy for my entire life, and although I’m not an emotional person, I have to admit that it would be nice to experience the feeling of happiness. If you really wish to acquire this disease, I urge you to spend an entire week with an anorexic person, seeing all of our rituals, obsessive habits, crying spells, dizzy spells, seeing us struggle to do something as simple as taking a shower because our legs are shaking from lack of muscle, not being able to sleep at night due to the fear of not waking up the next morning, lying to our families and telling them that everything is getting better, while everything is getting worse, giving up hanging out with everyone, isolating ourselves in our rooms for days, our weigh ins, our painful punishments, etc. Anorexia isn’t a joke. This is not funny. This is not fun. This isn’t beautiful. This is hell. This is my prison. I am not cognitively free. If you think anorexia is “cool” or whatever, fuck you.