The date and time it is minus December 29th, 1991 at approximately seven o'clock in the morning equals my age.
I have a wonderful boyfriend named Jeff who is my everything.
I have an obsession with Marilyn Manson, Motionless in White, astronomy, science in general, and Stephen Hawking.
I am a physics major, astronomy minor, and I play the piano.
I love heavy metal.
I'll beat you in chess.
My personality type is INTJ.
I'm a raw vegan and I don't have a religion.
I am very misanthropic.
I'm straight edge. (Which means I don't do drugs or consume alcohol.)
I would waste time telling you about who I am, yet I'd rather you find out by yourself.
To be completely honest, I don’t. You don’t live in my body. I do, and I am in love with it. My body is the only thing I truly own and can do whatever I want with, so if I want to be a scrawny little bitch who has no curves, that’s my decision and my business. People think it’s rude to tell an overweight person that they are fat and should lose weight, yet they seem to have no problem telling me that my body is ugly and I should gain it. Hypocritical much? I don’t want the ugly “soft” and “inviting” curves of a woman on my body because I’m not a soft and inviting person. I’m not comfortable or happy with being soft and inviting. It’s just not me. So, saying I should look a certain way to please someone or to be more “acceptable” is like insulting me as a whole. I am not just a brain inside of a body. I am a body. I am the entire thing. So, if you don’t like the entirety that is me, that’s fine. I don’t really care. You’re free to have whatever opinion of me that you want, but don’t expect me to give a fuck or change the entirety of my being just for the likes of anyone on the face of this planet or just to please you or your eyes.
Way to favor one eating disorder over the other. How about this. Instead of caring so fucking much about what others are doing or feel about their bodies, you focus on your own and live your own life. Joining a movement because you don’t accept your body, or are too lazy to change it in a way that will be acceptable to you, won’t fix the problem. It will just enable this behavior. Also, you complain about society. Well, you ARE society. If the television and media is depicting a body type you don’t like, just turn the fucking television off, or don’t buy the magazines, etc. It’s not that hard. I just think people need to grow up, and need to learn how to think for themselves.
I have this disease, and I’ve had it since I was about 9 or 10. I’m now 20 years old. 10 to 11 years later, and I’m still in this prison involuntarily. If you wish to be in this mental hell like I am, I recommend you say goodbye to everyone and everything that you love, because you’re not going to be enjoying them for very long. I haven’t been legitimately happy for my entire life, and although I’m not an emotional person, I have to admit that it would be nice to experience the feeling of happiness. If you really wish to acquire this disease, I urge you to spend an entire week with an anorexic person, seeing all of our rituals, obsessive habits, crying spells, dizzy spells, seeing us struggle to do something as simple as taking a shower because our legs are shaking from lack of muscle, not being able to sleep at night due to the fear of not waking up the next morning, lying to our families and telling them that everything is getting better, while everything is getting worse, giving up hanging out with everyone, isolating ourselves in our rooms for days, our weigh ins, our painful punishments, etc. Anorexia isn’t a joke. This is not funny. This is not fun. This isn’t beautiful. This is hell. This is my prison. I am not cognitively free. If you think anorexia is “cool” or whatever, fuck you.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone owns their own scalpel to their own sculpture, if you understand my metaphor. Everyone has their own preferences and their own likes and dislikes. Neither are right or wrong. They just are. If you need to seek acceptance from others for who you are and what you look like, chances are you don’t accept yourself. Instead of bitching about what’s “real” or “not real” when it comes to women, how about you just mold yourself into what you find to be beautiful so that this argument doesn’t even matter. I find extreme thinness to be beautiful in both genders. It’s just my taste. It’s not wrong or right. It’s just my opinion. Someone else might have a preference for curves and muscle and they’re fine to like whatever they like as well. It’s not a competition and it’s not a debate of wrong or right. Instead of being sexist and saying what a real woman is, how about let’s just look at the individual instead.